Let's face it. Breakups are never fun. But there is a proper way to do it—and yes, there is such a thing as doing it wrong. If you're thinking about ending things with your significant other, here are some tips on how to do it like a pro.
1. First, take some time to assess your relationship and figure out why it's not working.
Are there things that you're not happy about in the relationship? Are there red flags that you're ignoring? Be honest with yourself, and don't try to make excuses for your partner's bad behavior. Once you're sure that breaking up is the right decision, sit down with your partner and have a conversation.
2. Don't ghost them.
The most important rule to follow is this one. Just because you're not interested in someone anymore doesn't mean you can stop talking to the person altogether. That's called ghosting, and it isn't very kind. If you're not interested in continuing the relationship, at least have the decency to tell the person why. They deserve that much. It's okay if they get upset but remain calm and respectful.
3. Do it in person.
You might feel the need to do the deed over text or email, but that's not very considerate. The right way to break up with someone is in person so they can have a chance to ask questions and process what's happening. Trust me. It's worth dealing with an awkward conversation for five minutes instead of the fallout from a cold, clinical breakup message.
4. Be honest.
This one might seem obvious, but it bears repeating: be honest about your reasons for breaking up with someone. Don't try to spare their feelings by making up excuses; be truthful and direct about why you don't want to be with them anymore. It might not make the conversation any easier, but they'll know where they stand.
5. Be respectful and kind.
Breaking up with someone can be an emotional experience, but that doesn't mean you should be unkind or disrespectful. Avoid blaming or attacking the other person; instead, focus on expressing your feelings and needs. Show empathy and listen to their side of the story, but stick to your decision if you know it's what's best for you.
6. Avoid leading them on.
Don't give your partner false hope or mixed signals if you want to end things. Be clear and direct about your intentions, and avoid giving them false expectations. Don't say things like, "maybe we can work things out in the future," if you don't really mean it. Be respectful of their feelings, and don't string them along.
7. Give them space and time to heal.
Breaking up can be tough, and giving your partner space and time to process their emotions is important. Respect their need for distance and don't pressure them to stay in touch or remain friends immediately. Allow them to grieve and heal at their own pace, and be mindful of their feelings if you cross paths in the future.
8. Avoid public displays.
Breaking up with someone is a private matter, and it's important to respect your partner's privacy by not announcing the breakup on social media or discussing it with mutual friends or acquaintances. It's unfair to your partner to share their personal life without their consent.
9. Be prepared for different reactions.
People react differently to breakups, and your partner may have a range of emotions, from sadness to anger or even denial. Be prepared to give them space to express their feelings and try to be understanding of their perspective. Don't try to argue or defend your decision; instead, listen to what they say and show empathy and understanding.
10. Take care of yourself after the breakup.
Breaking up can be emotionally draining, and taking care of yourself after the breakup is important. Give yourself time to process your emotions, and don't hesitate to seek support from friends or a therapist. Take care of your physical and mental health, and avoid rushing into another relationship before you're ready.
No one ever said breaking up would be easy—but that doesn't mean there isn't a right way to do it. If you're thinking about dumping your boyfriend or girlfriend, make sure you do it in person and be honest about your reasons. And whatever you do, don't ghost them! That isn't nice.